There was a time, lets call it September, when I thought Twitter was stupid. Signing up for Twitter seemed like opting into a spam email service. Why would I ask for people to send me all of that junk? But now while crawling my way through Indeed.com, Linkedin.com, Dice.com, PleaseSomebodyHireMe.com, and 100 copies of the same terrible resume webform / blackhole I find respite in 140 characters.
Before Twitter I didn’t truly understand that famous people are both as dumb, as catty, as perverted, and as technologically incompetent as the rest of America. Without Twitter now I would not know about the latest developments in the Middle East, or the latest gadgets, or the latest artery-clogging food truck. I wouldn’t know how my friends were wasting their time at work across town, or across the country RIGHT NOW. I wouldn’t know what JFK said 50 years ago and I would not know how much Miss USA misses In-N-Out today.
There was now way for me to learn about all the stuff my friends felt was too inane, geeky, serious, or ridiculous for Facebook. I could not laugh at the latest rantings of a fake dictator or laugh even harder when the real US State department started to follow him. There just was no way for me to jump on the same absurd internet meme as a former fake temporary president of the USA. So thanks founder who’s name I don’t remember even though for some reason he was in a TV ad, for enriching my life.
Now I still don’t see how anyone makes any money off of this thing without a reality show, but I find myself checking it more and more as time goes on. The best analogy that I can think of is that Twitter is like beer. The first time you take a sip you are disgusted. Why would anyone drink this? But all the cool kids are doing it so you pretend you’re hardcore like everyone else. Nine months later and you’re a high-functioning addict walking up to people you saw on TV and talking to them like it’s your high-school reunion.
Follow me: @malcolm_p